Hahaha, I totally understand! Cheers! 
Yeah, I consensus vsearch can use a lot of resources.
I often try to find a small computer with a fast processor with ~32-64 GB RAM to train my classifiers. I am able to train a full SILVA DB on my M1 Max Macbook Pro in less than a few hours. The HPC that I have access too, has very slow and old CPUs... thus, it usually takes a couple days for that to perform the same task. 
Have you tried the GTDB database? You can use RESCRIPt to download the 226 version and see how that performs.
-Cheers!